The League of Super Teachers | Leon Idelchik

The League of Super Teachers

by Leon Idelchik

Every year superhero movies get released to masses of teens ready to go and happily overpay for crummy seats, light induced seizures and popcorn with enough butter in it to consider going on a diet. In the same vein every year, school gets released on children all around the country. These things have next to no connection. School is monotonous and often boring while the movies are full of adventure and entertainment, not to mention Jennifer Lawrence. So in order to make school a little bit more fun, we are going to see what would happen if we were to insert heroes into our schools staff.

 

Now a couple of guidelines to start (I know comic book fans are usually very understanding and kind, so this is just a precaution). First, don’t get mad if your favorite superhero doesn’t make the list. My editor doesn’t give me much time to write and while I’m sure you would love to know how Elongated Man or Howard the Duck fair as educators many don’t share that same curiosity. Second, realism is out the window, this is one comic book nerd talking to a whole bunch of comic book nerds, if you want realism you have a better shot finding it on the planet Krypton. Third and finally, this is merely an opinion piece of someone with way too much free time on their hands, if you have opinions of your own please send them too IDontCare@NobodyDoes.com and I will take them into consideration.

21f5710

  • James "Logan" Howlett  Alias:(Wolverine)
  • Physical Education Teacher
  • Calls people “Bub”
  • Regenerative powers, Adamantium Skeleton, Pointy Bone Claws
  • Pros
    • Master of war tactics and advanced strategy means no problem with coming up with a lesson plan
    • Really really really old, but totally jacked
  • Cons
    • Alcoholism
    • A little racist (WW2 and all)

14298522208_42235e75c3_b

  • Bruce Wayne Alias:(Batman)
  • Social Science Teacher
  • Loves to brood
  • Expert in martial arts, bat belt with literally anything
  • Pros
    • Vast knowledge of ancient history
    • Uses fear as a weapon for discipline (Trust me everytime I see him I need to change my underwear)
  • Cons
    • The classroom is always dark
    • Likes kids a little too much

maxresdefault

  • Barry Allen Alias:(The Flash)
  • Science Professor
  • Eats enough to feed the whole school
  • Super fast, rudimentary knowledge of science
  • Pros
    • An actual scientist
    • Super speed allows him to take tardy kids to school, literally.  
  • Cons
    • Eats a lot, the room always smells like a combination of pizza and melted ice cream
    • To fast for his own good. He knocks over equipment

.professor x

  • Charles Xavier Alias:(Professor X)
  • English and the liberal arts
  • Don’t let the bald head fool you, he used to be a studmuffin.
  • Psychic, Mind Reading
  • Pros
    • An actual professor, phd from Oxford and everything
    • An ex-principal, knows how to work with kids
  • Cons
    • Student privacy is a concern, mind reading makes privacy very difficult
    • The WW2 PTSD can get in the way of teaching

14403359454_45a8bc7785_o

  • Tony Stark Alias:(Ironman)
  • Mathematics
  • “Yeah, I can fly”
  • Iron suit, loads of money, sarcasm
  • Pros
    • He's smart, like really really smart. Math is child's play from basic algebra to advanced calculus he will learn it all in one night
    • The suit makes a good first impression
  • Cons
    • The sarcasm can get very grating. “No I don’t have a ball of lead stuck between my ears”
    • He drinks whiskey like water